pet peeve # 6 (becoming a crutch)

in progressing in my career, i'm experiencing some extreme fun (sarcasm). when we came back from cali, all we wanted to do was rest & heal. pride, chastisement, discipline & failed church plant attempts- hurt a lot. well, God had rest, healing, & the addition of responsibilities in mind- obviously.

in returning to a nevada job, i quietly did techie stuff in the back ground & went home w/o thinking about work @ all- but an opportunity knocked. the big boss man started asking if i'd consider "management" & to be a right-hand-man, of sorts. i told him i'd think about it. it would mean a promotion & a bigger office. it also meant better health benefits for my family. so, on the health benefits & the opportunity to "stretch", i said, "yes".

now, don't get me wrong in all of this. i'm not going to complain or be ungrateful about my job. i'm just going to touch on work stress & limitations. when thinking of my "despair" @ this time, i thought of scoey-d's posts w/ despair.com posters in them. i couldn't pass this one up.

so, i'm a "manager" now & didn't have to go looking for it. the big boss man has big plans for me to take his spot in two years. all along i'm thinkin', "Slow down boss man, I'm not ready for all of this & definitely don't need to be talking about having your job in a couple of years- stop that talk"!

it's been about 4 mos. in my new job & it's been nothing but fun (sarcasm). but, hey, this life isn't all about "fun" & "excitement". there's character to be built & tempering achieved (refiner's fire). many of my coping skills, in the past, have been a product of anxiety & worry. so, when any "stressor" came my way, i'd most likely smoke more smokes, get depressed, & have stomach problems. you see, after some recent healing in my self (deep-level), the Lord sent some tests (in the form of stress) to see how i'd respond this time.

my boss is currently adding projects of which are under my oversight, almost every day. before i can get to my desk, he's calling me into his office w/ more responsibilities. so, now that i've been able to respond to stress w/ a new, healed perspective (in many areas), the stress doesn't throw me into inner turmoil/chaos. i'm so very happy about that. i still have to take every thought captive, but i'm better able to process thoughts via my wires that have been mended/re-routed. in essence, some dark shades of gray have been removed from the proverbial goggles of my life, in which i view the world.

for about 4 mos., i have had an inordinate amount of stress & responsibility put on my shoulders. i'm really glad that i have responded well (for the first time in my life) & have gone about overseeing the many projects by being"on task" diligently. i believe that my next "test" has arrived in this new job. i'm thinking it's about time to tell my boss that he's given me more than i can handle. you must understand the dilemma this brings, especially in a success/try harder/suck-it-up business world. i have reached my limitations with regards to efficiently & wisely making good decisions & doing them on schedule. i believe that i've become my boss' right-hand-man, which translates (according to his perspective) into: his "crutch"!

have you ever become someone's "crutch"? this doesn't just apply to work, but can be ministry or whatever else involves people. i'm gearing up, in prayer, to start communicating to my boss that he allow for me to "delegate" oversight of some projects to some younger "up & comers". we'll see what he has to say about that.