sprinklers, schminklers

i have this awesome ability (sarcasm) to impress my wife when it comes to "housely duties" or any "manly" duties for that matter. whether it's the car, hanging pictures, putting up blinds or assembling a bunk bed- i am incredibly skilled. ;-) i can build things about good as Larry can. you might say that these types of "manly" behaviors were not learned due to not being taught, or simply because i was completely disinterested.

as a little boy growing up- i found some things pretty interesting. for example, skate-boarding, motor-cross, sports, reading, writing, spelling, & music. you'll notice that i didn't make mention of fixing or making anything. therefore, i, as the "man" of my house have this societal pressure to get a "job" done. whether i like it or not- mindy has more "manly" ability than i do. i have succumbed to being her "assistant" on many of our "house" projects. that's funny!

so, the ever-pressing necessity of turning off/winterizing my sprinkler system is looming. i was able to put it off for about 4 weeks. mindy & i kept remembering @ inopportune times & i can't say that it broke my heart. i'd say, "oh darn, i really wanted to get that done, today"!

well, the inevitable came to pass, yesterday. i had nothing to do, the weather was nice, & mindy was all over it. Whoopee! this is gonna be fun! i figured that i wasn't gonna shut down the sprinkler system all by my little lonesome. misery loves company, especially the company that has more skillz. so, me & the min go get a flashlight (which we had to change the batteries because it was dead) w/ the instructional sheet & assess the pipes. given what we saw we were gonna need a sprinkler tool thingy & all would be well. we went & got the sprinkler tool thingy & what do you think happened? the tool thingy wasn't long enough to twist the sprinkler handle thingy. did i mention that i'm not dressed in work clothes & already on my knees in the moist dirt looking into the pipe w/ mindy shining the flashlight. one small problem here: i couldn't see @ the angle she was shining it, so i asked her to correct the angle, another small problem: the only angle that put enough light down the pipe- also was directly in my line of sight. ARG!!! needless to say, i needed a longer sprinkler tool thingy. right? the hardware store didn't have any longer, except one that wasn't meant for the handle thingys. well, at this point i'm ready to spit fire & kick dogs. at one point, not allowing my girls to talk to me, @ all, while i'm "working".

mindy, the smarter one, says, "hey, jay, remember the little saw we got to do the kitchen boarders"? so, we take the saw thingy in hopes of cutting down the sprinkler pipe, so the sprinkler tool thingy would reach the handle thingy. i don't remember how to operate the tool thingy, it's been over a year, so i start to look @ the tool like it's from mars. i can't see where the blade goes & where the heck are the blades anyway? mindy goes looking for the blades while i stare @ the tool w/ a glazed look on my face. then i notice that the blades are being housed in a little compartment on the saw itself. okay, so now i have the blade & the next challenge is getting the blade in the saw thingy. this took a good 10 mts. i cut down the pipe to where i thought it would give me enough room to get the sprinkler tooly thingy down there & wrapped up the saw.

why did i wrap up the saw? doesn't murphy's law state that doing something the 1st time never works? i was about an 1/2 an inch shy of my handle thingy destination. dag-nabbit!!! so, i cut the pipe down farther. the directions say to turn the handle thingy, one quarter turn- clockwise, & then water would be released/drained. no water released/drained. so, on our 1st step it's not going like the directions state. one our subsequent steps nothing matched up. it showed pics of what it should look like & it already did w/o having done anything. so, in essence, the directions had to be wrong, because the sprinkler system wouldn't have been able to work- & we knew it had been.

enough of the boring details. again, me- mr. manly, was able to show my wife that i have it covered. i still don't know if i did it right or not. we'll be sure to find out when it freezes soon. nah, just jokin'.... i'll be inviting over a real "man" to look @ what i couldn't figure out. ARG!!! mindy is so proud!!!

did ya know that i can figure out computer networks & design them, but can't assemble a lawn mower w/o mucho cussing & loss of temper? funny!