a lot of wise & good things have been said about feelings & emotions, lately. however, something must be said about the "good side" of emotions & feelings. some of you may be saying to yourself, "a good side to emotions/feelings"? my answer to that is a definite, "yes".
God has given us emotions/feelings to experience life. these emotions/feelings aren't intended to base "big" decisions or often littles ones, on, but they have their purpose. their purpose is multi-faceted, but in general, they're function is to help us identify something that has happened. to be over-emotional/feeling-based is a life that leads to foolishness (ask me, i know). however, the flip-side of that- is not allowing one's self to feel @ all (or very little). this sort of thing is often displayed by callousness, coldness, terseness, etc... Some, very sadly, become robots of sorts when they stop feeling/emoting. we know the heart/feelings/emotions can lie & lead us down bad paths. but, we also know that feelings/emotions/gut feelings play a very important role in in our existence. so, they're God-given & need to be put in their proper place. for instance, someone dies- mourning is definitely needed, some offends/hurts you- you allow yourself to feel hurt & express why, and so on... then we take those feelings/emotions/cares/hurts/burdens & turn them over to Jesus. i guess the point i'm trying to get @ is this: don't be extreme in viewing feelings/emotions. they're not always good (out of context) & they're not always bad (shows that you're alive & well).
now to what my mind has been on for about a week now. my bird (kayla ann) is growing up. she's slowly, but surely, strengthening her wings. she cuddles less w/ me on the couch (usually watching animal planet). she's arguing just about everything that comes out of my mouth. she told me that she didn't want me to walk her to the bus stop on my day off- she said that it would be embarrassing. she's sitting away from us @ social events. her eyes & head are rolling whenever i talk to her. i'm feeling quite a bit of sad emotion right now. i could try to be a tyrant & force myself on her, but we know that's not right. i know it's not a HUGE deal what i've explained here. i'll get over it. BUT- i must say a few things, today. i'm glad she's maturing, i'm sad that she needs less of me, i'm already missing how it was about a week ago, i'm happy for her, i'm hurt that she's embarrassed of me (most kids do this, i know), - i just wasn't ready for this reality to come now. i guess we're never truly prepared for our kids to start becoming more indepedent.
just thought i'd vent & share my feelings w/ you. i'm gonna hand them over to Jesus, today..
i love you, bird. i'll always be your dad & here for you, no matter what. i love who God has made you to be. such an honor & privilege to be your daddy.
Wednesday, October 12
bird, i love you!
Posted by JayBird at 11:36 AM
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7 comments:
i hope to enjoy each stage as much as i have enjoyed this one. i know there will come a day for this in our house and when that day comes i'm sure i will have all those emotions you expressed and more. you are a great dad jay.
to be the dad of all girls is an awesome responsibilty and you wear it well.
It's true that as kids mature, they become more independent and asserting their own opinions and identity. I've not experienced the "embarrassed" behavior with my kids--probably with Adrian because of AS, he totally doesn't care what others think. With Julian, though, I think it's due to homeschooling. It has minimized the peer pressure issue.
just so you know, they go through the embarrassment stage, but they get past it. destiny is definitly in the embarrassment stage, but topher is past it. he wants to be with us, probably because he realizes he will be gone from us next year. this past summer he wanted to do things with us, just hang with us. its wierd, but nice too. i will be praying for you, you will get through this too.
God is good. he actually has programmed kids with little behaviors as they grow up - you mentioned the constant arguing, the eye rolling, etc. - to make us feel better about them not wanting us around . . .
seriously, it's hard. i know what you mean completely. though many of you may not believe it now, i used to be very close with my eldest. i hear it's a stage, i just haven't seen the other side of it to be sure yet. hang in there, jay.
Here are a few insights into the mind of a girl (being that I'm not far departed from that stage)
1. Come high school, all of her friends will think that you're the cool one, and mom is always the nice one.
2. After high school, when peer pressure is out the window, she'll be daddy's little girl again.
3. And one of my favorite thoughts from Finding Nemo:
"I tried to keep him from doing anything."
"Not much fun for little Harpo, is it?" I use this on my mom ALL the time.
4. You will ALWAYS be protective of her. My sisters are 34&38 and my dad still wants to protect them from everything.
5. You are a great dad, and when Kayla's 22 or so, she will recognize it more than ever before.
These are all based on my own experiences, but I hope they at least make you smile!
i was thinking about this, and thinking about my own situation. have you ever given much thought to the possibility that maybe you actually are embarrassing? :)
yes, i have, diga. i tease & play around a lot w/ the girls & i'm pretty sure that's not very cool in the land of puberty-ville. you make an excellent point here. you need to stop making such good points.
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