the necessity of focusing efforts (by realizing God's grace)

i graduated about a 1.5 years ago from the school of works. this school is one that is never pleased & things are added daily. i attended this school for about 10 years & would like to share what it's like.

the school of works has a relentless teacher/task-master. this task-master is usually yourself being aided by dark angels that have persuaded one to work for their salvation (not work out, but work for- big difference). in 1993, i entered this school as a zealous hard-charger for Jesus (re-committed my life). my intention was to do anything/everything to make Him happy. i believed whole-heartedly that my intentions were good. anybody familiar w/ the quote on good intentions?

anything, in ministry or work, became what I needed/had to do. any idea or job that was lacking, not yet started, or left undone- was my responsibility to "take on". i was the crutch @ work that did everything for others when they should have been doing their own job. i was the over-busy, ultra ministry man as head usher, pray-er, cleaning guy, meeting needs guy, council, strategy, small groups, associate pastor & whatever else i could put my hands on guy. i didn't understand it @ the time- i was attempting to receive God's love, acceptance, forgiveness, mercy, & grace by doing "LOTS OF STUFF"! (earning it). i did not feel "worth it"!

this idea/truth of grace, being a free gift, is mind-boggling to most of us w/ a "less-than-normal" past life, full of abuse & bad choices. our low self-image/worth often proves to be incredibly "disadvantaging" when it comes to seeing & understanding things correctly. so, in essence, we, the people who look through "gray, foggy goggles", have incredible difficulty in REALIZING, in our souls, the truth about love, acceptance, forgiveness, grace & mercy. this realization in which i'm speaking is the progression of mind knowledge as it travels to the soul & is understood in a way that this realized truth is now applied to my life.

someone that struggles/doesn't understand God's grace, may be affected in the following way: a person who has yet to grasp grace is usually extremely hard on themselves. this usually plays out in some form of self-flagellation (picture a person w/a whip that hits themselves w/it when they've done something wrong or perceived wrong). i could explain more, but that's sufficient for now. look up Jerry Cook on google for his book on this stuff.

working/doing things to prove one's self worth, fitability, lovability, acceptabability, forgivability, etc.. (i know, i made some words up)is a battle that can't be won. the list of things to do just grows & energy is quickly depleted. a person caught in this works stuff can count on chronic fatigue from never being able to say, "no", & doing those things that are "performance based". this person might say, "look @ me & how much i do for so & so/such & such". we somehow equate the quantity of service w/how much God will love us. this is very sad.

overall: i strongly recommend, that if you struggle w/any of this stuff, please consider that you need some emotional healing. realizing God's grace in your soul is almost impossible w/o healing past wounds & hurts. the lie of the enemy is that we have to "earn" our salvation. w/healing & working through things, we can better see the absolute truths we so dearly need. in conjunction w/healing, i guarantee, us willing/open, that we will better be able to shed all the extraneous things we're doing in our lives & focus on what we're made to do. things that distract us from our purpose here on earth are those things that are burning us out & rendering us ineffective. a person being torn in many ways- first experiences pain, then doesn't end up going anywhere. i'd rather focus on 2-3 things, than 5-10 (figure the percentages on effectiveness).



who are we individually & as a community? what should we be focusing on? what are the things we can shed in order to do our purposes/goals w/ excellence? wouldn't it be nice to stop doing a bunch of things in order to receive acceptance- when we've already been accepted by God?