inferiority & those things related

inferiority is a multi-faceted ailment. for me, it was the only response i could come up w/. not many things relating to wisdom are possessed by a kid in single digits. in order to survive & function in my world, i made some decisions/vows in how i would participate in this life & the world i found myself in.

inferiority is a symptom/response in a person that is reacting to some injustice or perceived injustice. the injustices of the world are too many to mention. @ the point of some hurt(s), there are often choices, in the form of vows, that take place. for me, i made more vows than i can count, but one specifically was this: I will not be on the receiving end of anyone's crap, again- NONE CAN BE TRUSTED! meaning: that being hurt- hurt too much. once outside of my house (school, sports, playing in the neighborhood, as an adult, etc), i was the one in charge- this translated into being a bully during elementary & middle schools.

once this vow begins being repeated- this vow becomes a self motto/slogan for viewing everything. anyone & everything will be handled through the goggles of this vow. it doesn't matter what kind of interaction it is. if there's another person involved, there's going to be a "battle" of sorts. often the other person is unaware that you've passively waged war until there's some sort of "blow-up" later down the road.

some of inferiority's relatives are: critical, competitive, comparative, positional, judgmental, rebellion, pride, & others. a person struggling w/inferiority will usually view all people as opponents, adversaries, & competitors. they may find themselves blowing up/raging on something as simple as the quickest way to the store, or when someone has a different opinion, or when someone disagrees, or when someone doesn't acknowledge them, or when someone doesn't meet certain expectations/standards, & the list goes on. everything can easily be turned into a really big deal. needless to say, a person struggling w/inferiority is prone to being a drama king/queen about everything.

of course, for the sake of brevity, i won't expound on all the points made, but i believe that the basic/core elements have been mentioned. a person that "fights the world" is dealing/struggling w/inferiority. the reason for them taking that role/viewpoint is from past occurrences & vows made. how does one go from this horrible prison of seeing everyone as an opponent/adversary to not being that way?

• it takes lots of healing in lots of different areas
• it takes going back to the moments of hurt where we made vows
• it takes praying on the individual moments/incidents of hurt
• it takes undoing those vows made from hurtful moments/incidents
• it takes knowing/realizing the truth about who God is & who He says we are
• it takes practical re-thinking/re-wiring/re-habiting to deal w/negative self-talk
• it takes time to understand, heal, practice, & to behave in healthy manners
• and so on.... i've probably left some things out, but those are a good start.

tired of being over-sensitive about everything done or said? tired of having to be involved in everything in order to be seen or position yourself? tired of always having your feelings hurt? tired of reading into what people say as them meaning something bad or suspicious? tired of being on the defense? tired of arguing over every little thing & having to have the last word (1 up)? tired of wondering why you're always left out & what you did wrong? tired of having to prove your point by persuasion & word-spinning? tired of being high maintenance for those close & around you?