Naked as a JayBird #6

I went to my last football practice (my coaches didn’t know this, yet). I limped around and had so much pain, that the tears were streaming down my face, but I continued on like a good little trooper. The main coach screams across the field, “Bennett, what the bleep is your bleeping problem today. Pull your head out of your bleep.” This is not what I wanted to hear and triggered a rage within me that breathed fire.

I was at the fight or flight moment where my reaction carried a lot of weight. Would I give up all the hard work I put into being a good running back or would I tell this coach where to stick it? Would I lie down like a beaten dog and take the oppression or would I refuse to allow it for another second? I stood in the huddle silently crying and wondering what the consequences of choosing each would be. I would have to weigh losing my identity (what I thought at 16) with stopping the madness and maltreatment.

I decided to stop the maltreatment. I untucked my jersey, took my helmet off, and stood staring at the head coach. The coaches and teammates were yelling at me to get to the line of scrimmage for the next play, but I blocked it out and locked my intense feelings of hatred on his smirking face. He came running out to confront me and threw his baseball cap at me. He then started screaming/spitting in my face and tried his very best at motivating me via fear, but I stood silent with more tears pouring. When he was done yelling at me, I told him, “What you have done is fuc*** up. I am done with you.”

I walked off the field to the locker-room. I took off all my pads/equip. and piled it in the coach’s office, took a shower, and started to get dressed. In the middle of buttoning my shirt, the coach and his assistants started to yell derogatory things my way, “QUITTER. STOP BEING SUCH A GIRL. YOU’RE MENTALLY WEAK AND UNCOACHABLE. DON’T BE SUCH A PUSS*.” I remained silent and didn’t acknowledge them whatsoever, and walked out of the locker room. It felt really good to have the monkey off my back, but my behavior went in a bad direction.

To be continued….