enthusiastic engagement

the Lord has been sharing some insights w/me lately re: my girls. God appreciates that i've been a good dad & have always been around for my girls. matter of fact, He's down-right pleased w/me on this. i'm not braggin' here, as you'll soon hear from me that i need to work on something very specific & important.

by the time that i'm arriving home from work- i'm done w/talking, congeniality, & can be a bit irritable. in the course of my work day, i'm @ the top of my game doing many things & i honor God w/them. i'm sure many of you dads reading this can totally relate. when i'm @ the end of my day, i want to be quiet, relax on the couch, & do very little thinking. can i get a witness?

i once heard Robbie booth say, "is your family getting the best of you or are they getting the left-overs?" ouch! are the most important people in my life getting my left-overs? ouch! i don't want mindy & the ladies getting me @ my worst/lamest. i want only the best for all my ladies.

for a while now, especially during my morning quiet time w/God, i've been getting a predominant thought: i'm w/my family (present), but i'm not totally "with" my family. let me explain- i can sit on the couch (half-vegetative), watch tv (zoned-out), & read (don't interrupt) & how much room does that leave my girls? it usually plays-out something like this: whether i'm reading, watching tv, or zoning-out, my girls have to attempt to get my attention. many times they get the, "can't you see i'm watching a show. i'm reading here- duh. i'm doing something right now, maybe later." this is not the case all the time, but i see that it's crept in a bit.

the Lord showed me the real situation here. he unveiled to me that what i'm saying when they attempt to get some of my attention is this: "reading, tv, & my time are more important than you right now. your desires, feelings, & world are of little importance to me." ouch! God's not condemning me or picking me apart. He's sharing a very important aspect of raising our children. we need to engage our children w/enthusiasm. the attention they are due should directly correlate to our love for them. they are very important! it's an attitude/mindset change from feeling like we "have to" engage to really wanting to engage- there's a big difference. it's all in the outlook.

don't get me wrong. i'm loving, encouraging, playful, etc... most of the time. what i'm talking about w/this post is when our priorities/attention gets off-track. i'm talking about the moments when our children need our interaction & we shew them away- "not right now." i'm not saying that we give our children all of our time & never say no & never have any boundaries w/them & never give ourselves time. right now i'm talking about when the Quiet Voice says, "do you need to watch another tv show?, you only see your kids @ night, love on them now, how much of your day are they getting?, put down the book & engage, etc......."

no way do i want to communicate to my girls that they're second-best or lesser in my life. more important than how i feel towards my girls- is the action that backs it up. it's the enthusiastic engagement, @ the right times, w/pure love that tell our children: "your are loved, accepted, forgiven, important, worth-it, & special." our time & genuine interest in our kids will help them be who God made them to be. He definitely didn't make them to get lumped as a group & made to feel like they're being tolerated over being loved.

think about it for a bit. assess your relationships. who are you neglecting, because you're too busy, pre-occupied, or just plain selfish? our actions plant seeds. we need to plant good seeds.

love ya,

jay